GASLIT AGAIN….. Snakes in my family.
On a Thanksgiving evening after a wonderful meal with chosen friends we were about to have dessert. Pies, cakes each homemade and topped with plenty of whipped cream ready to be devoured. There is a knock on the door. It’s my uninvited younger sister and her daughter. The daughter is also known for theft of prescription medication. I immediately went upstairs to lock away my meds. I had to protect my blood pressure medicine from theft.
Despite my request they use the downstairs bathroom I found both my sister and her daughter upstairs in my bedroom. “I was just showing B____ the rest of your house.” She said when asked. No, you were not. You were looking for any medication to prove what you have said about me is true. My sister is carrying on the gaslighting my mother began when I was younger. To prove I was psychiatrically challenged my sister was intent on finding any medication to prove she was correct. Seriously, She is also a nurse who should know better. Yet using her title of a nurse, who is smarter and more educated, her words of medical knowledge should hold more weight and truth than mine.
In my family, even taking an antidepressant holds negative connotations. My sister has taken depression (which is true) and turned it into a blend of many psychiatric illnesses. She announced I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Now mind the fact for 20 years she and I never spoke. We were once best friends but her opinion of me was becoming overwhelming for me. My therapist said it is ok to take a break from a family which is causing harm. Yes they were (and still are) very painful.
Her intentions to find proof of any anti-psychotic, anti-depressant or even Ativan would be the ultimate jackpot. She could continue to gaslight me proudly just as she was taught by our mother. If she can continue to protect our brother by forcing me to remain quiet about the sexual and physical abuse I suffered at his hands she would be able to collect my share of any inheritance.
As we are sitting eating pie she whispers to my guest; “I can’t believe Brenda is drinking alcohol! Did you know she is an alcoholic?” (That was a new one, even for me!)
This is gaslighting to the ninth degree! She arrives uninvited, attempts to steal my prescription medications for unethical purposes, then shares an invented ‘secret’ with my guests. What she was hoping for was to visit, find my husband and I alone and miserable having spent the holiday all alone. It didn’t happen. Yet she finds away to destroy a relationship I cherish with a friend I can trust. Immediately after my sister left I was told what was said secretly.
If it was true AND my sister (who is also a nurse) truly cared about my emotional health she would have shared her ‘secret’ with me. Why do it behind my back? Yes, she was only doing it as the continuing wrath of my mother to control the narrative of my life.
Besides, had sweet sister-the-nurse even bothered to ask what was in my cup she would have discovered it was not Chardonnay but ginger ale. Yet she took the slithering role as always. No worries tell dear brother his secret is out and has been out for more than a few years. I do not hold up any hope his own daughter is safe from the abuse I suffered at his hands. That snake can never change. Sexual deviants only change their prey to those younger who are unsuspecting.