SIX DEGREES OF GHOSTING

Previously I have written of my younger son. He was forced to cease all communication with me by his wife, Karlee. Why? I was never provided a reason but yet I do know bits and pieces. When my 30 year old son began ghosting my shortly around the time of his first child, a daughter, I knew this was bad.

1. Removed to make it a separate entry. See here

2. The day after the birth of their child my son called and invited me to visit my new granddaughter. I was sitting in a chair at the bedside holding this beautiful new baby when my darling daughter in law screams out “GIVE ME MY BABY BACK”. She also pressed the distress button from her bed summoning in nurses. Running in the room as if something terrible had occurred were a pile of nurses. By this time I had given back the child after only cuddling her for a few moments. My son stool without words. I was flabbergasted. Had I held her wrong? Had I said something which was wrong? What had I done to deserve this? With that my husband and I were told to leave the hospital room. I was not even allowed to take a picture.

3. I sent a message to my son asking what I had done to provoke what happened during our visit. He ghosted me.

4. As promised I made dinner for my son, DIL and her family for the days when the returned from the hospital. It also happened I was leaving my son’s favorite meal “angelhair spinach pasta pie with Alfredo sauce”. He invited me inside where seated in the family room were DIL, new child, son, and her parents. My son asked me to sit down and join them. After a few minutes of pure baby-bliss conversation the DIL (still holding the baby) stands up and loudly orders her mother “MOM HELP ME UPSTAIRS”. I am not a stupid person. After being blocked on facebook and not welcomed at my granddaughters coming home moment, I didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out I was not welcomed. She couldn’t just say “hey you weren’t invited, get out?” Perhaps my sone could have said it? He invited my inside! It is obvious who wears the pants in that family? I do know my son is afraid of her because he either would not answer my texts or he glossed it over.

5. Two days later as I promised I would bring a meal for the entire family……. Son, wife, her parents, sister and I naively thought I would be included in said meal. Nope. Son comes running to the car. He takes the cooler with a huge lasagna pan full of chicken. I quickly provided him the instructions. I was quite clear the pan was from a neighbor. It and the cooler must be returned. He ran off. He fully ghosted me on that day.

6. I have never been ghosted before. This was cruel beyond description. I had a new granddaughter who up until I restarted my facebook page I felt included. Yet I was not. This truly bothered me for a few reasons. I had received an email for their online baby shower. The gifts were VERY expensive items. Most had already been purchased! The $3000 car seat and the $5K stroller were purchased, but totally out of my wheelhouse. I ended up buying 2 separate orders of the small over-priced item. Total cost was just over a thousand dollars. Did she ghost me because I only spent $1000 and not the average item on the list which cost $2000 and more? Is she one of those “i only want my parents, not yours!” Type of person? I was not invited to their wedding either. When I saw the photos I did not recognize anyone! All her family, friends none of My son’s family but there were a few of his friends.

7. I just found this photo on my won’t facebook. He has me blocked but he is aware I use an account under another name. I’ll just leave the rest alone… when I stop crying and my heart is able I might discuss it. When?

Granddaughter, son and child #2.

All I can do is stop thinking about it. Stress is a killer. With my medical issues, including my soon hyperparathyroid thing I just have to let it go. I still blame myself for whatever I did to this mean girl to treat me like shit. I will never have that son back. Even when they divorce i still would never forgive what he has done by proxy. Is it her parents who raised her to be a spoiled brat. Did they not teach her about kindness and live and allow others to do the same? Probably not.

I will add another observation, her facebook is careful void of any and all phots of my granddaughter. She goes thru great effort to hide it. What’s more her mother at one time had photos. She no longer can share pictures of her grandchildren. Who does that? Who actually believes the have the solemn right to not even allow me to see one phot of my son’s kids? She does. How long can she control him because i see one day when he awakens from his life and realizes the choices he made were not the best.